Word twister

I love twisting words around and giving evasive and foggy answers.

My newest favorite line is:

"I am planning to plan something great"

Basically...I got nothing :)

Yet.

A-la-la-la-n

PS: Changed the template. And did away with the World of Alan (don't really have title to the World. Apparently everyone is happy with "Earth") and cut it down to Bigger than Sliced Bread. Back to my minmalist roots.

IE

As I am currently studying for some exams and remembering formulas and doing questions. And with these exams, I've been coming across the term interest expense alot (yes, they are accounting exams).

I always write it down as "IE". And then it makes my mind wander to internet explorer.

And then from internet explorer, I have this vision of this guy exploring the internet like a jungle.

Then from the jungle, I think about Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.

Then from Heart of Darkness I think about how Marlon Brando in Apoclapse Now looked very unlike Marlon Brandon in Street Car named Desire.

Then I think of that classic scene of "STELLLAAAAAAAAAA"

Damn...I wish I could go for some Stella Artois now.

And then from that I realise I am day dreaming.

FOCUS!

A-la-la-la-n

Fresh morning air

I am back on the wasabi addiction. Result?

This morning the air was so fresh that my brain is hurting.

My sinus are so clear it hurts to take a deep breath through my nose.

A-la-la-la-n

Not paying GST

This is not a review about Batman: The Dark Knight. You can find countless reviews which all reflect my own to a greater or lesser degree at other less reputable blogs. Basically, go and see it. Heath Ledger deserves a posthumous Oscar for his role and the next episode of Batman has alot of climbing to do.

One quick note before we get into the guts of this entry. I find it so embarrassing when people clap at the end of movies. It's just unnecessary. And I ridicule people who do. After the Dark Knight, there was an awkward clap going about which I didn't participate in. Until afterwards Rudy explained me why:

"I think people clapped because it's Heath Ledgers last performance. He did the role well. And also he's a Perth boy. Sort of like paying respects to him"

Ahhh...don't I feel bad now?

[I believe in Harvey Dent. More specifically, I believe that Aaron Eckhart did the role real justice after the atrocious performance of Tommy Lee Jones in that bad BAD Batman: Forever movie. I believe.]

So after Dark Knight, Rudy and I were famished and headed into Northbridge for some good ol' Uncle Billy Chinese Restaurant cuisine. As per usual we ate our fill and prepared to leave. Remember last time when I got a discount at Billy Lee's Chinese Restaurant? I was up for another go at this establishment too. And yes, they are two different restaurant with two very similar names. Uncle Billy's. Billy Lee's. Uncle Billy's. Billy Lee's. Uncle Billy's. Billy Lee's. Different.

It can get confusing when you organise a meet up.

I watched the waiter-guy tally my bill and he punched in the 3 dishes we ordered. Which came to 39 bucks. I have a sharp eye for numbers on calculators. And then he punched in an extra figure and it rocketed to 44 bucks.

I had to say it.

"40? Discount...?"

There was a tense half-second silence as Rudy cringed and the guy paused. His response:

"No, 44"

Or that's what I think we heard. I'm not sure. Rudy can swear he said something like that. But regardless and reluctantly we parted with two twenty's and a five.

But!

Then to our delight he gave us back the five.

He made some sort of waving motion to us and we hurried our cheap asses out the door. I flashed him an obligatory Sliced Bread smile and we stepped into the night. A definite improvement from last time. 10% discount. 10%. That can buy me alot of things.

That's right Johnny Howard. We didn't pay GST.

A-la-la-la-n

The Best and Worst Steak of my Life

Make for a pretty catchy albumn title I would say, but the truth as well last night.

Last night was our going away dinner (I organised) for my good friend Kit. He is leaving the City of Light (Perth) for the City of Lights (Paris). And those are genuine nicknames. No joke. Wikipedia says so.

[Now tell me, which is the real City of Light(s)]

I like to do quite outlandish things so I thought we should do a 1kg Steak each; anybody who wasn't doing a kg, wasn't coming. So after about a solid two week planning, we met last night at Hippo Creek with the intention of leaving 1kg heavier.

[This reminds me of the TJ Eckleburg sign from Gatsby]

[251 West Coast Hwy]

We rocked up at Hippo Creek in Scarborough after a day of no eating. There was no way I was going to fit a fried kweoh teoh alongside with a 1kg Steak 6 hours later. Starving, we were seated, we ordered our dishes and we waited 45 minutes. Great service too and the place is wonderfully lit. But we were here for steak.

Finally our dishes arrived.

Between Rudy and myself, we set down a few rules so that the boys would finish the meal.

1. We are not leaving until all the steak is gone. All of it.
2. Including sides.
3. You cannot leave the table until we have all finished.

When the dishes finally came out, I made some short speech about enjoying the meal and honoring Kit. Then we got started.

Let me tell you now, the steak first piece of the steak was absolutely amazing. Juicy, tender, well flavored, tasted like it smelt...it WAS the best steak of my life to date. I savored it for about half a minute before I really dug deep for my inner lion and I began devouring it.

[1kg Steak!!! All gone! Click on it!]

I focused mainly on eating the steak, ignoring the sides because frankly it was just not on my mindset. I came from that steak and that was the priority. I did struggle a little with the steak towards the end but it all got down in the end.

[Rudy tore into it with gusto]

[Jase paced his ace (???) ]

[Kit wore a white wife-beater singlet out to a restaurant. Yep, and his going to France]

[DONE!!!]

[DONE!! After Rudy and me though]

The results of our steak fest and sides were (with some memorable quotes):

Rudy: 18 minutes - "I'm Mr. Alpha Male I can do another one. Without sides"
A-la-la-la-n: 32 minutes - "I just had the best and worst steak of my life"
Kit: 43 minutes - "I wear singlets out"
Jase: 55 minutes - "I weigh 57 kg and I'm punching out of weight division"

After I finished it felt like the best and worst steak of my life. All agreed. It was actually a bit of a shame to overeat and ruin the taste but at the same time it was soooo good. I highly recommend all the fella's to do it in their lifetime. Kit suggested we do it every six months!

We then had our pictures taken (if you finish the steak, you get your photos on the wall), talked a little as we rested and let Kit go to the bathroom. The walk to the car was particularly heavy.

[4kg heavier]

I am going to give Hippo's Creek a solid 8.5/10, I could find no fault with it. Maybe the wait for food was a little long but it wasn't unbearable and wasn't unreasonable considering it was 4kg.

The next challenge is the $300 Dim Sum at Emperor's Court. Apparently, the legend goes that if you can do it, then it's free. F R E E.

A-la-la-la-n

The Sliced Bread Guide to Hypermiling

I recently read a report that fuel per litre might jump to $8 (sooner or later it will happen)

$8 ?!? I'm not even happy at the current $1.50ish per litre!

Anxiety attacks aside I began fervently researching ways of me saving money on fuel.

Unfortunately the majority of what I came up with was a) riding a bike and b) getting myself a Toyota Prius c) taking a bus. I found holes in all these arguments and even though a) I love riding my bike, I don't like wearing helmets b) i can't afford the Toyota Prius and c) I hate the bus. All legitimate reasons.

However I stumbled upon an ancient technique of...

Hypermiling!!

I now consider myself a nempimaniac (one who is obsessed with getting the best fuel economy from ones car). Hypermiling is the modification of driving habits to maximise fuel economy and I now present my guide so that we can all get the best bang for buck.

Let's get it started...

1. Minimisation:

a) Weight

Actually my whole life is starting to become minimalist as I purge my room of unnecessary junk. In the case of hypermiling minimisation is making the car lighter. Other then a few items of clothing in the boot, I've gotten rid of alot of junk in my car. Excess weigh consumes fuel.

I've also slimmed down to a 66kg frame so that my Civic doesn't need to carry that extra 6kg I normally have during the year. Yes, it's a tiny amount but every little bit counts.

b) Braking

I really really don't like to brake anymore. Instead, what I do now is I've been timing alot of red lights so that as soon as I see the red, I start coasting and time it (more or less) so that my car never has to stop fully. Accelerating when your car is moving slightly then at a complete stop is much more efficient. And yes; every little bit counts.

2. Physics:

a) Drafting

As soon as I'm on the road, I look for a nice big truck to drive behind. Why? Because it will break air drag for me and let's my car battle less air resistance. It probably is unsafe to be too close, so I keep a reasonable enough distance. Even at 30 metres, you will still get an 11 percent improvement (says Mythbusters). Aerodynamics and all that nonsense. Every little bit counts.

b) Speeds

After a bit of research, I stumbled upon this quote:

"Optimal efficiency can be expected while cruising with no stops, at minimal throttle and with the transmission in the highest gear"

It's reported between 55 km/hr to about 90km/hr, which suits fine for me. i just cruise around 60 km/hr trying to keep it in neutral and using routes that are mainly straight with no hills. For my manual Civic I've looked into when I should change gears when I'm accelerating from stop signs too. You should to for your own car. Every little bit counts.

c) Tire Pressure

Having tires at a factory specs can reduce rolling resistance. I'm pretty sure mine are already at factory specs but I will double check this later on. Basically; resistance is bad, reducing resistance is good. Savy? Every little bit counts.

d) Windows up

Windows must be up to reduce aerodynamic drag. For ventilation, just open the vents instead. This is important on freeways because drag hurts badly. Every little bit counts.

3. Miscellaneous:

a) Avoid Peak traffic

I am now very anti-driving during the periods of 8.00am - 9.30am and around 4.30pm - 6.00pm. Peak traffic is very bad. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Get my drift? Every little bit counts.

b) Driving barefoot

When I can, I drive barefooted. It lets me be much more precise with the accelerator so that I can be more finesse with the speeds I want. It costs less to put shoes on (free) then to overev at every light (a dollar or so). Every little bit counts.

c) Avoiding Parallel Parking

I have now completely stopped parallel parking. The constant forward, back, forward, back EATS fuel. Unless of course I am totally confident I can do it in one go of reverse, then that nice spot outside of Metros is a no-no. Don't forget that getting out of parallel spots can also eat fuel as you go forward, back, forward and then back and then out. Every little bit counts.

d) Car pooling

Best way to save fuel ever. Get someone else to drive. For me, it's Jason. After a considerable 3 years of carting his mule ass around, he is finally paying me back for it. And it's the best thing ever. I am glad I have plenty of friends who live around me. Jason, Rudy, Kwun, Jason, Jason, Rudy, Jason, Rudy...ahh :) Every little bit counts.

That's all for today. All basic techniques which I am honing and when I am more confident, i will start doing the tougher techniques I've seen.

A-la-la-la-n

Everything is better when you were younger

About 13 years ago, I read this really awesome book. I was in year 3 and it was (alongside the Eddings manuscripts) what really set me off on reading and enjoying to read. And yes, I had a slight fantasy to be a medieval fantasy writer myself. Even pop culture icons can be geeky.

Anyways, ever since year 10/11 I've been searching for this book. It was really hard because I couldn't remember the title, nor the character names, let alone the author. In fact, all I could remember was that it was a red cover, there was a panda in it and something about a pearl. And I could also remember that the panda was sitting on a throne.

But I knew it was an awesome book. It had cool pictures.

I would trawl through countless Google searches for this book whenever I had a nostalgic feeling of my youth. You know Google has pages that go 68? You do now. And whenever I was in bookstores I would do my very very best to find it. For the last six years I had resoundingly found nothing. Zilch. Zero.

Alot of my Google searches consistently came up with this stupid Panda in China, Red Panda's and Panda Fireworks. Google failed me. What hope did I have of finding this book? Do you understand? Google failed me. Google never fails. EVER (except all these projects).

A while ago and for no reason whatsoever, I remembered that there was an Emperor in this story. And *click* I knew the title! The Emperor's Panda!! I was shaking with delight when I Googled it...

AND FOUND IT!!!

[See the red cover!?! And look! The panda is sitting on a throne!]

Unfortunately the book was out of print and I couldn't get myself a brand new copy. Not even amazon.com had a copy. But this is 2008 people! When there is a will, there is a way! It was late. Very late into the night when I found a secondhand copy and it was only $4.99 (not including shipping costs)! Boo-yah!!!

Credit card whipped out I bought it. I didn't bother even to read the shipping costs (which was actually quite hefty...) and now I had to play the waiting game. 31 days shipping.

Well the month went slowly.

BUT YESTERDAY IT ARRIVED!!!!

And after reading it...

I was thoroughly and utterly disappointed.

It was good! But it wasn't this awe inspiring book that I had long considered an influential text on my life and would be featured as a guiding force in my auto-biography. No. It definitely wasn't that. I read it twice to be sure but the whole time I just couldn't immerse myself like eight year old Alan did.

All I could do was apply my year 12 literary criticisms to it. And my my, post-colonial reading just raged it's ugly head. The drawings were still pretty cool though.

I realised it was a case of me growing up. Like that time recently Josh and I watched Captain Planets; I was thoroughly not amused anymore. Or that time I ate ice cream for breakfast, nope not as fun. Or getting absolutely sloshed, nope not that fun. Sorta.

Everything is better when you were younger.

And we welcome Peter and his Sophomore Stories to my blog as well. His that asian guy that is everywhere. Yep. Real specific.

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Quiz Filler

Just a quick quiz to amuse myself. Stolen from Yuvina's Sound of Silence. That doesn't even make sense. How can silence make sound?

Do you drink more water or juice?
Water

Are you there for your friends?
Of course I am

If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?
I would not be happy. Not happy at all. I would start up a bootlegging business similar to Al Capone and run multiple speakeasy's. And have strippers. And blackjack!

When's the next time you will see the person you like?
Not soon enough.

Your view on drugs?
Different strokes for different folks

What's your favorite color?
Blue-ish

Do you get along with girls?
Sure I do. I love women!

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
I would think so. Sometimes, they don't want to know!

Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday?
It varies day to day.

Are you a forgiving person?
I tend to hold a grudge for a bit. I like to make people squirm. But then I forgive eventually.

How is life going for you right now?
So-so, some minor improvements needed here and there.

Last person to comment you?
I think Kath was from the previous post.

Do you believe what comes around goes around?
My aunty use to say that to me and she didn't understand it. So it is one of those sayings which makes me angry.

Do you like steak?
Steak is the bread of life. Love steak. In fact, as we are writing I am planning a 1kg Steak adventure with some boys.

Are you a lover or a fighter?
I'm a lover, I'm a winner, I'm a fighter, Gonna set your soul on fire!

Who was the last person you ate with?
Family - dinner.

When was the last time you saw your dad?
A while ago...

What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
My friends!!!

*cough* SHOESSSSS *COUGH*

Are you mad about anything?
Yes, mad about yoouuuu ;) You? No, you! Not you! YOU!!!

What does the last thing in your inbox say?
Facebook - Nicky's back in town and brought Gatsby too.

Who was the last persons house you went to besides your own?
Blockhead's

Do you miss anyone?
From one end of the universe to the other end. The far end.

What are you looking forward to?
Mid-september

What's on your mind?
Japanese food. I know. Shameful.

What were you doing at noon yesterday?
Sleeping off watching Nadal beating Federrer.

The last text you received on your cell and who was it from?
You have 1 Missed Call etc etc etc

Do you sing in the shower?
Singing? More like off tuned talking loudly to a 'tune'

What did you last eat?
Noodles.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?
Nope, more grown up. Wiser.

Off to Jase's place to get me some Lord of Destruction action.

Rest assured people, the blog is inching itself back to Pop Culture Status.

A-la-la-la-n