*gag*

As part of working the great Establishment (after hearing about people losing their jobs from naming their work and bad mouthing them, I've decided to stop doing such thing), and one of the most senior coolie's I was subjected to pleb duties yesterday and was forced to clean the Fridge. Drawing straws is not fair. Rigged. All the time.

The Fridge is a small room, no bigger then a modest bathroom, which houses all the cheese and fetta's sold at the Establishment. Some would even call the Fridge a "cool room" but I like to call it, the Fridge. It also provides us coolie's a means to store our jams, spreads, vegetables, lunches etc etc.

You might be able to see where this is leading, so I warn you now: Continue only if you are brave of heart, strong of stomach and foolhardy of head. Or maybe because even your Mum reads this.

Alot of us workers at the Establishment are hoarders. We don't like to waste and we really think that everything is store able in the Fridge to be called upon at a latter date. I read somewhere that if you freeze/cool something it last longer right?

Wrong.

So wrong.

As I cleaned through the depths of the Fridge, I discovered things which would make grown men cry. GROWN MEN!

Kurtz said it best: The horror! The horror!

A quick sidetrack; it reminds me of the last days of year 11 and I was cleaning out my locker and stumbled upon a fishy smell. I reached into the back of my locked and found a peach...which had been sitting in there for a WHOLE year and fermented to the point where it began to smell like fish.

That was gross and it's a different story.

Anyways...

I decided pictures do more justice then words.

Last warning...

[Tomato Gross-a-lato. This was about 2.5 weeks old. The girl that cooked it up said: "Chuck it...now!"]

[ It's a bad picture but you can probably see the mold on it. The guy that bought it said: "But is it expired yet?" I chucked it before he could take a wift and prevent me from doing so. MOLD. Even I have my limits.]

[This was the masterpiece. The Big Boss is Lord of the Hoarders. He had bought discount sushi (ie: sushi which is close to due date) and LEFT it in the Fridge for about a month. I don't know if you can see but, there was FUR growing on it.]

Who's glad I'm back writing?

A-la-la-la-n

Absurdly Lazy

Yeah yeah, long time no update.

February has traditionally been a very busy month for me as I cavalier around Perth with the Yaolin crew for Chinese New Year and celebrate heaps of birthdays and what not.

Also went to Goodvibes and caught Kanye West. If I can be bothered, I'll get some photo's up.

Being a tad lazy for the time being, but I'll pick up the slack in a few days. It's just too darn hot.

A-la-la-la-n

That tingling feeling again...

It's almost the beginning of the Chinese New Year, which sends tingles to the tips of my fingers and toes and makes me giddy from excitement.

Been training plenty these past few weeks, as this year the school is really stepping up a gear. I have more or less hit my peak fittness levels, as such I hope you guys can all come down and catch me at some point while you see me atop one of the greatest peaks of Traditional Asian Heritage. That which is known as Mt. Lion Dance.

I've listed some performances that I would like to see myself at. If that made any sense...

And you of course. Nothing like support from friends/family/randoms to cheer you on!

Money St Temple (Money St, Northbridge): This is one of my favourite temples in Perth. The altar to Guan Yu and Buddha has always slightly awed me. It also reminds me of this temple in Vietnam where my brother almost killed me, true story. You can catch me here on the 6th at around 6ish. The dance might not actually be that long, but it's always important to get down to a temple during the CNY eve. Make a temple appearance here or at...

Fo Kuang Shan Temple (Guildford Rd, Maylands): One of the most aesthetically designed temples in Perth. It's just so easy on the eyes and if you come down on the 6th at around 10.30ish, you'll also get to catch Yaolin wheeling out 6 lions. It's a really good one to catch. Even my mum is watching me for this one. Or so she said...

Billy Lee's/Singapore Restaurant (Chinatown, Northbridge): These dances are always the best dances to watch I reckon. The alleyway gets really packed as everyone oogles on. That slighty ealier then the FKS peformance at 9.30ish, so all you kiddies can come watch this one. Even though it's in Northbridge =/ There is also another on the 17th at 9.30 which will be very awesome to watch. In fact were there pretty much every night at 9.30...but the two I mentioned I highly recommend.

Saigon Cafe (James St, Northbridge): This dance sends the biggest tingles down my spine every single year. There is something about it which really sets me alight and after a day and a half of CNY I am really fired up for this dance. The crowd really gathers on James St and the atmosphere rivals those really tight dances in Chinatown. Catch me here on the 8th at 7.30

Spencer Village (Thornlie?): It's hard to describe this dance. But from a personal point of view, I feel it's a testament to a lion dancer's endurance and stamina. For two lucky partnerships, this can be a 20 minute lion dance. That's a loooooong time. Worth seeing me come out of a lion like i just had a shower. 3pm on the 10th is when the firecrackers go off.

Pot Black (James St, Northbridge): Northbridge, Saturday night, Potblack, James St. All words synomnous with dodgy aZn's with dodgy over-sized jeans and "dress singlets". Not on the 16th at 9pm though! The Potblack dance is one of the best to watch simply because of all the pretty lights. I strongly recommend watching this dance because it's got 5 lions. More lions = more luck = more fun

We are doing heaps in restaurants from Northbridge Chinese Restaurant though to Shun Fung on the river, and since Perth is so small I might catch you there anyways.

Hope to see you at these performances. Or SMS/buzz me for more.

A-la-la-la-n

Restaurant Review: Ciao Italia

For all that I rant and rave on about Traditional Asian Heritage and the death of it, I feel I also have a strong affinity towards all things Italian. As such I strive to find good Italian places to eat at. I know where all the good Chinese places to eat are. Italian is what I search for!

For the past two years, I've been hearing rave reviews about this small place on Mill Point road which goes by the name of Ciao Italia. And for the last two years I've not had a chance to go because of bad luck, public holidays or a huge HUGE line.

I've been FOUR times and everytime I've not even managed to eat there. Smelled the delicious food, but alas...not tasted it. FOUR times.

I DID finally to get myself and friends a table on Thursday night. And I'm going to say I was thoroughly impressed. Ciao Italia has a policy of "no bookings" which draws quite a line outside. Luckily we got in a bit earlier and our late wasn't too bad. This line has denied me once before.

Once we got inside, the place was absolutely packed to the rafters. Almost every table is taken and you get a real feel of cramped Italian lifestyle while you eat. I loved it. There is a real buzz in the air and the wood fired pizza's made me even more hungry then I normally am.

Now for the food...

We ordered; the restaurant signature dish typically named: "Ciao Italia", the Panna e’Funghi and the Penne - Vodka. We also got the Siciliana Pizza and the Calzone.

Waited patiently...

When the food came out. I was drooooling. The dish sizes are HUGE for the price your paying. I know restaurants which give you less then a QUARTER of the size what Ciao Italia served me. I unfortunenately forgot my camera but trust me, the dishes are HUGE.

Safe to say, the food was so so soooo good.

It felt like two years of Italian food had exploded in my mouth. All dishes were good but I would say that the Penne - Vodka had a distinct taste to it which I couldn't quite place my finger on. The Vodka must have done something to my taste buds.

Service wise, the Italian dudes who serve you are really friendly and playful. I'm not good at Italian but while we were waiting for our dishes he pointed to our table and shouted something. A junior waiter would scurry off and hey! presto! our dishes started to roll out. You can tell they are doing what they've wanted to do.

Another really crazy thing about their service was their water refill.

Stay with me.

A certain hack, who was pouring the water didn't pour me a glass and then hid the bottle from me by taking it off the table. About two seconds later a waiter popped up and placed a new bottle on the table.

That's service.

They even joke around with you and wear old school suspenders/bracers. The ones that keep up your pants. And pull it off so marvelously. Ahhh...I wish I was Italian.

[Top: Buffon (gk), Materazzi, Toni, Grosso, Totti
Bottom: Gattuso, Pirlo, Camoranesi, Chung (c), Zambrotta, Perrotta]

I had a weird thought while eating about their evacuation method because somehow I don't think they have one. For example, if the woodfired pizza cooker-oven suddely belched fire and the placed started smoking...the panic would be bad because it's so cramped and chairs are EVERYWHERE.

Meh...

A small price to pay for great food and good service. And pricewise? Awesome bang-for-buck.

I'll give these place a solid 8.5/10; I'll be going back in winter when Italian food makes more sense. I can find little to critique except that it is a tad cramped and even at 177cm, I was yearning for more leg room.

Ciao!

A-la-la-la-n